Transcript of Interview with Daniel Rose

Sherrina:  Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, left right, left right, you’re now feeling very sleepy….very, very sleepy.  When we think about hypnosis, this is what we think about.  The media always shows us that if you focus on one item moving from left to right, it is as simple as snapping your fingers.  But hypnosis is more than just entertainment.  Hypnosis offers you insight and information:  Insight into how to feel better; insight on how to be a strong, confident New York mom.  Sure, hypnosis does change your mind, but it will change it for the better. 

We are fortunate enough to sit down today with Daniel Rose, a clinical hypnotherapist who will share some great insights on how to manage being a mom; how to manage living in New York City; heck, even on how to manage your in-laws during the holidays.  Stick around.

Daniel Rose, thank you so much for joining us today on New York Mother.com and thank you in advance for sharing your insights.

Daniel:  Thank you. 

Sherrina:  Hypnotherapy is sometimes thought of as quackery or a joke.  It is made fun of in the media  as a way to make people do things they typically would not do.  Would you talk to us a little bit about the therapeutic side of hypnosis and the differences between hypnotherapy and traditional therapy? 

Daniel:  In addition to being a clinical hypnotherapist, I am a stage hypnotist, and there are analogies that can be drawn.  People may not understand the therapeutic the significance of making a person believe he is Superman, for example.  However, in a matter of seconds that person can lift more weight, carry himself with more self-esteem, etc.  In hypnotherapy, rather than making a person feel superhuman, the goal might be to make her feel more level-headed so that she can wake up and tackle the day feeling more centered and balanced; having a little inner peace; feeling the joy that she might have only when she is on the beach, taking a walk, or hiking.  Her ‘superwoman’ may be just being able to enjoy the highlights of life. That’s a much more achievable of goal. 

Sherrina:  Talk to us a little bit more about hypnotherapy.  I want to get a better understanding of what happens to an individuals mind when they are ‘under.’

Daniel:  I might suggest to a person that on the count of three she can no longer move her leg.  Of course she knows she can move her leg, but under hypnosis she doesn’t even try.  Another kind of suggestion is, “When you wake up in the morning, you’re going to feel good about things.  You might have been a little depressed after the birth of your baby and with your hormones going wild, but at this point you feel centered and on your game.  You feel that life is really good and enjoyable.” 

When ideas like these come into your conscious brain and they bounce away because you say, “Yeah, wouldn’t that be nice.  I’d love that to be the case.  Tell me about it.”  Your conscious mind is always protecting you from bad things that are coming at you.  However, when you are hypnotized, suggestions reach into the strong part of your brain—your unconscious brain.  When an idea reaches that part of your brain, it becomes you. 

When you are hypnotized, you are not consciously preventing thoughts from to going into your brain.  Maybe you want to feel a sense of comfort and joy, a little more confident or beautiful.  These could be thoughts you already have in your mind, but you might be self-sabotaging yourself to a degree.  Under hypnosis, the critical part of your brain that might be blocking those thoughts from going into your conscious mind is kind of suspended.  You can take a hypnotic suggestion, let it sink into the mind, and upon emerging, be consciously aware of a change.  You will feel that your conscious and unconscious minds are on the same page, so to speak.  When they are, you are free of all destructive behavior.  You feel like the feel like the person you were before—you feel pretty and kind of light on your feet.  You can see that person reaching the holidays being slim with a new dress on that fits loosely and.  The suggestion has become you.  It’s not so far-fetched.  It is part of who you are at that point.

Sherrina:  In the news lately, we have heard a lot about postpartum depression, particularly when celebrities are talking about it.  Brooke Shields openly admitted that after having her second child she went through a bout of postpartum depression.  Would you talk to us about howhypnotherapy might actually help those women who have recently given birth and feel that they just can’t cope?  What can hypnotherapy actually do?  What practical advice do you have for these women?

Daniel: We start by trying to find out if it is a very specific situation or if it is an underlying  feeling that she might have had for years that might could have been triggered by hormonal changes.  For example, a woman might have grown up with a self-esteem issue and put it behind her.  Another decade went by, now she is in her thirties.  She is pregnant and not feeling as good as she wants.  Maybe she looks in the mirror and sees she is of shape. Maybe she is losing sleep.  Her mind sometimes plays little tricks on her and brings back some of her worst memories of childhood, peer pressure, etc. 

A woman will often say, “I just want to feel like I did before I gave birth to this child.  I was ‘over here’ and I just want to get back ‘there’.”  We want to aim little higher than that.  We find a list of things that makes her happy so that she can come back to that point where everything is centered and balanced.  When you cut your finger, you don’t bleed to death.  When your bone breaks, it heals and is usually stronger than before. 

Women often will come back to their center, but with all the things going on with pregnancy and the changes it brings, childbirth, and lack of sleep, but sometimes she just doesn’t feel it.  She may feel a little bit out of sorts.  We have her share her feelings with us through writing and verbally, things such as, “I felt really on point when I was taking my dissertations in school; when I was first married; when I was in volleyball tournaments.   I feel relaxed walking on the beach; being with my friends and family.”  After we develop a list, we discuss how those items would feel and help her to lock it in so that she has a new trigger to help her get back to center, back in balance, back to what she used to feel was her happiness level and to do it effortlessly.

Sherrina:  We live in this fast-paced city called New York, and it is called ‘the city that doesn’t sleep’ for a reason.  It just does not stop.  We have diners that are open 24 hours, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.  There is no way that people can stop in New York.  Or is there?  Can you recommend to a New York mom who is doing it all how to stop and take some time for themselves?

Daniel:  There are many different ways, but I’ll give you just one. Again, people need to realize that there are two parts of their mind functioning at all times.  They may be in a meeting with 40 other people, listening to their boss, looking right at him with their ears are wide open and--I’m sure everyone has experience this at some point—they are not really hearing the guy.  They are thinking of something else. 

Sometimes it’s called highway hypnosis: where you are driving a car, you’re looking at the road, but you wonder how you got so far so quickly.  Sometimes a person spends 95% of the day doing what she to do—changing diapers, driving, running here and there, paying bills, and going to work—and the other 5%  is thinking: “Wow, I’m really working here.  I’ve got the kids and this and this.  I have to make sure that Ben is in the best school.”  Yes, do all those things you have to and want to, but do it in a peaceful way.  It will radiate to others.  It will improve your relationships with your child, your husband, and others around you.  They will probably catch some of inner your peace, your smile, and your happiness, as well, and you will get to where you are going more quickly.

Sherrina:  Daniel, as you know the holidays are coming around.  It’s a great time of year to get in touch and get together with your extended family.  Particularly if you have young children, it is a way for them to learn about their extended family and the individuals that are around them.  However, with family and holidays come issues that don’t surface except for this one time of the year.  Sometimes you look at your in-laws and you think, “How is it possible I married into this family?”  Please, I beg of you, teach us a way to hypnotize them!  If we can’t hypnotize them, can we hypnotize ourselves so that all this pressure and all these problems don’t seem to surface this time of year?

Daniel:  The best way I can think of is visualization.  For example, a person is running the New York Marathon running out of steam.  In order to place, he has got to pick up the pace, so he visualizes.  It might be just a word like ‘overdrive,’ but that word helps him to find more strength.

A woman could do the same thing before a family dinner by sitting down and gathering her thoughts.  She can visualize, “These people don’t weigh on my mind.  They kind of bounce off me.  I’m strong like that.  I’m like a tree that is planted in the ground and unshakeable.”  It is different for each person, depending on their environment.  It might be, “I’m like a boulder in a stream that things flow around, and I can’t be shaken,” or “I have a golden helmet on and everything just bounces off me.”  These kinds of thoughts can bring a smile.

Most people are nice, and sometimes the mother-in-law doesn’t mean to be ‘that way.’ If she sees that her daughter-in-law has a smile, is composed and not rattled, centered and soft-spoken, it is a little harder to engage that person in conflict because it will reflect badly on her. People who are for the most part decent and good don’t want to usually want to be seen as the source of conflict.

Sherrina:   Daniel, thank you again for taking the time to speak to our viewers.  You have provided us with some practical advice that we can use in our lives, hopefully very soon, to build a positive future for ourselves.  I’d like you to talk to our viewers now and share a final thought, one piece of advice that, if they learn nothing else, they must keep in mind.

Daniel:  I try not to be a philosopher, but I would say: you only have one life to live, and it is a lot easier than you think.  If you will look around, and this is somewhat of a cliché, there are people who have it a whole lot worse than you. 

Most people live in the future and in the past.  They are not the person who at the moment has a beautiful child in their hands or who has a career that might be re-established in three to five years when the kids go to school.  They are envisioning worst-case scenarios.  They are envisioning the past and the future. 

If you live in the ‘now’ and think about some of the things that are happening this very day, you start appreciating things for what they really are.  Things are pretty nice, especially if you just had a child.  I think it’s one of the nicest things.  I have three of them myself. 

Live easily.  Live peacefully.  Don’t let stuff weigh on your brain.  Don’t let it rent space in your mind.  Just don’t.  Start living for the now.  It’s better for everybody.